Happy Birthday

"...I am immensely fond of you all, and that eleventy-one years is too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits." Tremendous outburst of approval.

"I don't know half of you as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve." This was unexpected and rather difficult. There was some scattered clapping, but most of them were trying to work it out and see if it came to a compliment." ~ The Fellowship of the Ring

Oh, how Glenn would have chuckled at that quote, and would have "gotten" the meaning long before I did. He was so good at riddles, and puns, and recalling all of the "good" quotes from seemingly every movie or show he ever saw.

Today is his birthday (not was, because I refuse to believe he's truly gone) and so many emotions and memories flood in, I don't know that I can sort through enough to process, much less write, about them. I'll just keep typing, and maybe the words will come.

First, I'll copy how I introduced him first in my old blog, and again on the occasion of his death:

Ex-husband #1 and I share such a long, complicated history; it would take a novel-length post to tell our story! In a nutshell: he and Beren are best friends, have been for 35 years now. I dated Beren first, way back in the day when we were young and wild and a little bit crazy. When circumstances drove us apart, I had the good fortune to be "taken care of" by this amazing man who I went on to marry and create a child with. The marriage didn't last, but the friendship did, and it has only gotten stronger and deeper as we have co-parented and befriended each other through the years. He is a wonderful, passionate father who really opens his heart..a rare find in a man nowadays. He has been "with" me through thick and thin, the subsequent break-up of my second marriage and everything that lead up to it. Several years ago he gave me an amazing gift: he and Kali orchestrated a meeting between myself and Beren, the first time we'd laid eyes on each other in 20-something years. They had no idea what would happen, only that I still had feelings for Beren that I needed to explore further or put closure to. The rest is history, as they say, but I have the greatest admiration for this man who loved me, and his friend, enough to give us his blessing. When the rest of the world looked on in shock and disbelief at the situation, my ex-husband showed grace and dignity and acceptance. He was one of our few "cheerleaders," never losing hope that we would make it, that it would all work out. I can't speak for him, but I know that I feel completely loved by him in the most pure, sincere way, and I believe that Beren feels the same. So, that's the condensed version of the story, and my introduction to Strider..a/ka/ Aragorn..ex-husband to me, best friend to Beren, father of Kali. He says that he chose [the alias] Strider because he is heroic & chivalrous, and I think that describes him perfectly.

And here is his comment on said blog post:

 Anonymous said...

I read it... I quickly felt the familiar tingling in my shoulders and head warning me of the impending audible sobs which would soon be upon me. They did not disappoint! Had to leave the office and have a smoke in order to regain my waning composure. Once again your eloquence and insight astound me. I do aspire to be all those wonderful things you said but I fear I could spend the rest of my life trying to to live up to them. ~ April 13, 2007 at 9:46 AM

And below are photos from the last time I saw him when we got together to celebrate Beren's birthday together. The two of them were up to their usual antics, laughing and teasing each other, then spent some time sorting through record albums, divvying them up and arguing over which was better, who had it first, etc. Same as always, except it wasn't.

The last thing he said to me as I hugged him goodbye, "I love you, Michele, and I mean that in the most non-creepy way." And he chuckled while looking straight at me with that devilish grin, and we left. We'd planned to see each other again very soon, on our grandson's birthday, but that didn't happen. Instead, the following Monday he was gone. At least, his body was. His spirit, his passion, his humor, his determination, even his stubbornness that drove us all crazy, it's still here. Maybe not floating around in the atmosphere like I choose to believe, visiting me now & then at random moments, but it's present in our daughter and grandchildren. I catch a glimpse of him now & then, and I smile and sigh to myself, thinking how much he would love this time in their lives, how excited and happy and proud he would be to also see those bits of himself in those babies. All of those years ago when we were so deeply in love, so desperately hopeful that we could "save" each other, somehow build a life and family together, we said those familiar words, standing outside on the dock of city hall, me wearing a $14 dress and he a borrowed suit, we vowed to love and be loyal to each other forever.

Well, you know what? We kept that promise. The form may have changed somewhat because, no, we didn't have a traditional marriage, didn't get to celebrate x-number of years of wedded bliss, but we did remain faithful and true friends to each other. We stood by in sickness and in health, richer or poorer, honored the promise we made to love each other forever.

I love you, too, Glenn, and I don't even care if that sounds creepy.

Forever,

"BC" (the First)